I lived, so i dont know where to go on from here. most of the time i already think of myself in the past tense as if i werent still here. its really weird. i wish for just a moment i could bury myself in the ground like a cicada nymph and come back out years later. sometimes when i talk to someone all i could think about is what would they do if i disappeared right in front of their eyes or later on. I really feel like i dont deserve the time others have spent on me. and i love animal rescue videos. the real ones and not the ones made with the intent to get pity views, they also commonly mistreat the animals instead of rescue them